April 1988

1 April 1988 Friday-

It can’t be April already and yet here it is and I’m still sick with hay fever. I worked on genealogy almost all day until 7:30 this evening. John Reeves came over to take me out to the SUN tonight.  Ken Francis was going to meet us there because we thought it was LDS Conference Weekend and there would be a huge turnout but there wasn’t. That surprised us. I guess April Fools. I delivered the Triangle Community Digest to the bars today also while out.

            Before going out however I was surprised that Leon Lawson and Troy Nichols my buddies from Utah Title dropped by my place. It was good to see them again and they told me the scoop about what really happened at Utah Title. Evidently Al Newman blew the whistle on Ed Rogers and it all collapsed because they couldn’t stand being in business together. They always had their offices in totally separate parts of the building even so they wouldn’t have to deal with each other.

2 April 1988 Saturday-

This morning, John Reeves and I drove out to Kamas to see Camp Rogers and to see what we will be dealing with. There was still a lot of snow up at the camp so we had to hike in about a quarter of a mile in to it. However it looks like it will suit our purpose as the camp site does look really nice. It was a nice drive up the canyon to get away from Salt Lake City. 

When I came back into the city I was at the LDS genealogy library until they closed, then came home to work on getting all the research written up so I can turn it in on Tuesday.

I was edgy and wanted to go out cruising but my car wouldn’t start so I just stayed home and watched Saturday Night Live.

3 April 1988-Easter Sunday

It sure did not feel like Easter this year to me with no Easter dinner, Easter baskets, no family or friends over. It was just another day.

            I worked all day writing up my genealogical reports to turn in on Tuesday But I did take a break in the afternoon to go to the show with John Reeves. We went to the West valley Mall and saw “Wall Street” which was pretty good and reconfirmed to me why I am a socialist Democrat and am for labor always.

            After the show we  went to Affirmation to make a  pitch for Beyond Stonewall and then we went to Chuck Whyte’s drag show to support him in his projects. We gave Mark Lamar a ride because he was doing the lights for the show.

The show as boring as always but the money it raised went to the food drive for Crossroads Urban Center so it was for a worthy cause. I heard that Donny Eastepp is trying to get a thrift shop going next door to the In-Between bar to help out people with AIDS. The Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire was also sponsoring an Easter Bonnet and Egg Contest at Backstreet so we left.

When I came back home from Backstreet, there was a message on my machine from Billy Bikowski. I called him back to wish him a Happy Easter. We talked for awhile. He said he and the guys at his place were watching porno movies. That gave me a twinge of jealousy. I was missing him so much. I just want to hold him again in my arms but it’s totally over between us. He doesn’t even know me anymore if he could tell me he’s watching porno knowing how I feel about him. Besides somehow I believe that he’s really not worthy of me and that he’s not in my league. I out class him, am more educated, and definitely have my shit more together. But still I went to bed melancholy after talking to him and hearing his voice. I am not sure why he even called me.

4 April 1988 Monday-

It was such a bizarre morning.  About 4 I had a phone call from “Jock” on the Man 2 Man dating service wanting me to come over for sex. Since he only lived up the street in the lower Avenues I decided to go. When I got there, he had two of his friends also there . All of them were three sheets to the wind and drunk as could be. We visited for a while and since I was already up, I decided to ride this thing out and see where it goes. Eventually one of them suggested that we play strip poker which we did.

            So here I am at 5 in the morning playing strip poker with three men I have never met before in my life. It was great and the funny thing was that I never had a losing hand and they were buck ass naked while sitting there playing cards, drunk and bitchy like when with friends you really love and who will put up with your shit.

            Eventually two of them began to make love and Jock and I just watched while we jacked together. It was a very erotic Kafka-like absurdity.  What a thrilling but strange morning.

Anyway I didn’t get back home until nearly 7:30 but since we went on Daylight Savings Time yesterday it was still dark out so I went back to bed. I didn’t get up again until 10:30  when then I spent the rest of the day at the LDS genealogy library.

Today Martin Luther King was assassinated 20 years ago today and Governor Meacham the Mormon governor of Arizona was impeached. What supreme irony and how wonderful to be impeached on this day when he was the one who ordered the rescinding of Martin Luther King’s birthday as a holiday in Arizona.

5 April 1988 Tuesday-

 I went into Lineages’ office today to drop off three research projects. I submitted 18 hours for the Adcocks research, 16 hours for the Hulls, an 14 hours for the Smiths. While I was there Johni Cerni, the owner said she wanted to put me on the payroll as their first staff genealogist so that I am going to be paid for 40 hours a week guaranteed.  They will do my taxes and I will have benefits again including medical. I also got a raise too so I among the ranks of the employed again.

            My hay fever was nasty today and I tried cleaning my place some. The Elder Quorum President of the 9^th Ward came over this evening before U.S. I wonder how they tracked me down? I told him I no longer consider myself LDS.

            In the evening  I went to Unconditional Support at 7:30 and we had a lesson on Self Image. After the meeting we went to coffee at Dee’s and I stayed there until 10:30 at night just visiting with folks and loving a sense of community.

            Garth Chamberlain bought his ticket to Beyond stonewall today. So far Neil Hoyt, Randy Olson, Garth Chamberlain, John Reeves and myself have bought tickets. 

            The weather was beautiful out today.

6 April 1988 Wednesday

I was holed up in the LDS genealogy library all day and didn’t do anything else. There’s nothing to write about.

7 April 1988-Thursday-

            I am sick of writing about my sinuses being plugged up so that I can hardly breathe. The weather was quite warm today almost 80 degrees but there’s a cold front moving through that is bringing wind,  dust, and tree pollen to aggravate my hay fever from hell.

            I was at the LDS genealogical library until 6 when I came home to get a bite to eat before attending the Community Council. Jeff Wood called to ask me if I wanted to go see a play Equus on campus but I said I couldn’t because of council which is more important.

            I walked down to the Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church on 600 East for the exercise. I saw Randy Olson there. I wasn’t in the best of moods as I could hardly breathe but I announced the time change for Unconditional Support and presented the council with $150 for the Romanovski and Phillips Concert. 

It was a short meeting tonight without a lot of fussing. Ben Barr said the state legislators are trying to draft another nasty AIDS bill.  Chris Brown wants another inter organizational meeting for Unconditional Support, Affirmation and the Lesbian and Gay Student Union  on the 17^th at 6 to plan more events.  Curtis Jensen is hitting every one up for money for the Desert and Mountain States Conference that will be held in May.

There was approximately 45 people in attendance.  Lyle Bradley resigned as chair of Anti-Violence Project  as he is moving to Tokyo. Monte Montalvo of the Wasatch Leather Men was elected as a replacement for him. 

8 April 1988 Friday

Today was the worse for my hay fever as my sinuses were completely clogged and my eyes were swollen. I just couldn’t breathe  so I broke down and went to Instant care but they wouldn’t give me an allergy shot.  Instead they just gave me a prescription for Seldane but so far the pills haven’t done the trick. I am totally miserable.

9 April 1988 Saturday

I was at the genealogy library all day until closing. When I came home, I tried to go to bed to rest from this God awful hay fever. However John reeves called while at Mark Lamar’s place and said he was coming over to take me over to Mark’s for a Spaghetti dinner he had fixed.

            I loaned John a $100 today as that I had extra money from unemployment that I didn’t think I was going to get. Over at Mark’s place we watched Star Trek Part IV The Journey Home. It was really good but when Mark and John went out to go dancing at the clubs I just went back to the Juel Apartment and finally made it into bed  this last day of my 36^th year.



10 April 1988 Sunday-

Today is my 37^th birthday and I am in the prime of my life. At 11 this morning I went

to church at the Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church.  Rev. Bruce Barton is holding morning services now. Bruce Harmon announced his “Stars and Stripes Show’ to be held  at Backstreet for a Royal Court of  the Golden Spike Empire fundraiser.  I guess Ben Cabey’s live entertainment  “Fusion Fest” and a buffet was going to be held as an AIDS fund raiser  at the In-Between Bruce Harmon so there’s lots going on tonight.  

            Afterwards I decided to go to the HYPER Building up on campus to take a long sauna and hopefully dry out some of my sinuses. On the way back home, I saw Billy Bikowski jogging by Reservoir Park on University Street. He saw me driving by so I stopped and we briefly visited. He said he was on his way to Ted Fairchilds and Kelly Byrnes place. He asked me if I was going to hear Carol Lynn Pearson talk tonight at Affirmation. I said no. He said he liked my humor article in the Triangle.

            Anyway I was freaked out seeing him on my birthday and also sad that he doesn’t even remember it. As I left , an overwhelming sense of melancholy swept over me and I went home and cried for several hours over him.  I was so miserable I felt like I wanted to drop out of the Gay community. I was thinking that the returns are too small for such a monumental effort on my part.

            I even called Becky Moss from Concerning gays and Lesbians about the show tonight and she was kind of stand offish and hell I’m the one who should be pissed off by how many times she stood me up.

            Chuck Whyte called me to come over to the Crossroad Urban Center so he could do an Ad for the Community dances on the computer word program there in the Citizen Congress’ office.  We needed to get an ad into the Triangle for May.  But I was morose thinking what is the purpose without someone to love me? Life without Billy is heartbreaking.

            I went to the store and bought myself a birthday cake, feeling sorry for myself that no one was calling to wish me a Happy Birthday.        Anyway John Reeves came over after talking on the phone as he sensed my deep depression.

John Reeves didn’t want to go to Affirmation tonight because he was afraid he’d see his wife there. But I told him I wanted to go at least for the beginning to meet Dave Malmstrom and have him plug Beyond Stonewall because I knew there would be a good turn out with Carol Lynn Pearson speaking tonight and I was right. 

When we arrived I immediately did what John calls my “Ben Thing” and started working the crowds and smoozing people. I guess I was needing the recognition. 

Anyway we also helped Carol Lynn Pearson find a parking space and then we left after Dave Malmstrom said he’d announce Beyond Stonewall. 

We then went to Memory Grove to go for a little hike up City Creek. It was kind of cool out and I wasn’t really dressed for the weather but it nice being out in the woods to clear my head. The Seldane medicine for my hay fever however wasn’t helping me much.

 After John Reeves went home at 9 I went back up to the Unitarian church to hand out flyers on Beyond Stonewall. I guess about 250 people showed up to hear Carol Lynn Pearson speak. A lot of people brought their parents. Dave Malmstrom after the meeting also told me that Carol Lynn Pearson agreed to let Affirmation do a quilt panel for Gerald Pearson.

 While I was handing out flyers Billy came over to me and asked me if we could go outside on the front lawn and talk. I said sure as I was curious to hear what he possibly had to say.

As too many people were mingling around we went for a drive and basically Billy just said the same old shit of how he needed my love but doesn’t love ,e nor finds me sexually attractive. Well happy birthday Ben. What do I care what he thinks?

11 April 1988 Monday

I worked on genealogy for almost the entire day so I was glad there wasn’t an AIDS Quilt meeting tonight.  Instead I watched the Oscars while writing up my reports. Michael Douglas won for Best Actor, Cher for Best Actress for her role in Moonstruck and The Last Emperor won for best picture.

            I’ve decided that I really need to lose some weight after what Billy Bikowski said to me yesterday so I threw away the rest of my birthday cake. I also walked up to the University and back for the exercise which was about 3 miles.

12 April 1988 Tuesday

I was up until 5 this morning writing reports and finally went to bed at 5:30. I slept until 7:30 and that was a big mistake but I was tired. I had to get up to turn in my projects so I can get paid next week. I was paid $218 for last week’s work which covered rent.

            I spent the rest of the day going back home and sleeping until noon before getting up and walking to Memory Grove to lay out in the sun. Memory Grove is the Gay park lately,  more so than Liberty Park.  I saw Ken Francis there so I sat with him. Later I saw Curtis Jensen, who is hanging around Joe Dewey more and more. They say they are both mad at Greg Harden now over some tiff concerning The Lovebirds. I don’t think they are “love birds” any more.

In the late afternoon I baked cookies for Unconditional Support but I didn’t eat any because I am still on a diet. At U.S. I led the meeting. The topic was on “Ageism” or in the Gay Community it’s know as Trolls versus Chickens.  I hate that some think I am a troll. We had about 20 people at the meeting. I think the attendance drops when the weather turns nicer. Afterward we all went to Dee’s for coffee and I treated Chuck Whyte to dinner as he’s kind of broke and he does so much for the community without any remuneration.  I actually used some funds from Unconditional Support because I knew no one would mind buying Chuck dinner for all that he does for us.

I have some tickets for The Romanovski and Phillips concert this June to try and sell at U.S.. Bruce Harmon gave them to me this morning when I went into Lineages. Dean Shutes paid $5 towards Beyond Stonewall. I am letting people pay in installments if $45 is too much to come up with all at once.

13 April 1988 Wednesday

I was researching at the genealogy library from 11 this morning until 8 at night on a project. John Reeves called earlier about wanting to go to a show  but on the way home my clutch pedal in the Volkswagen Square Back station wagon broke so I can’t shift gears. Shit! Well at least the car is paid for.

14 April 1988 Thursday

My hay fever is bad again. I suppose because of it being an overcast day. I took the bus to the genealogy library and worked from 11 in the morning until 8 this evening. It was raining cats and dogs when I left so I was soaked trying to get to the bus stop.

            I am still on my diet. I want to lose 50 pounds by July. That’s not impossible because that’s 10 weeks away and I can lose 5 pounds a week I think. I weighed myself yesterday at 203 pounds and I want to be 153 pounds. You can be anything but fat in the Gay world but I still will never look like a Return Missionary which is all Slat Lake Gays want to fuck. .

15 April 1988 Friday

It’s tax day and I haven’t filed yet. I think I will be getting money back from the Feds but it will all go to back taxes so I’m not in a big hurry to file but I should do it this Monday.

            I was at the genealogy library until 6:30 when John Reeves came by and picked me up from there to go to dinner. We went to Souvlakis on 300 West and 5^th North.  I had a souvlakis and a yeero my absolute favorite Greek food.  Then he took me grocery shopping since my car is out of commission right now.

            Darrell Hunt sent me his diet plan for losing a lot of weight quickly so I bought groceries for it. I am psyched up to do something  about my weight.

            After grocery shopping we went to the movies and saw “Switching Channels” that had Burt Reynolds and Christopher Reeves in it. It was a comedy that turned into a parody and it was just okay and nothing memorable.

            After the show we went to The SUN to go dancing for a bit because my hay fever was better for a bit.

16 April 1988 Saturday

In the evening at 7:30 I received a phone call from John Cunningham! He said he wanted to call to see how I was doing. He took me by surprise because after last Christmas , I thought he didn’t want any more to do with me. We talked for a little bit. I never addressed what  was said to me last December. I am glad that I didn’t send him the letter I wrote in response to his calling me a faggot.  Anyway I think he just needed to talk about him being in some Serious trouble because of his heavy drinking. I am sure he was drunk when he called me last Christmas.

            I guess he had a few D.U.I.’s in the past and arrests for public intoxication. I let him know that I care for him and hope he will reach out for some help with his alcoholism. We only talked for around 15 minutes because he had to get off the phone. I tried calling him back later in the evening at a number he gave me. Instead I got his brother James answering the phone. I haven’t talked to James in at least 17 years. I told him that I care about John and  how worried I am about his drinking. James aid that John has really gotten worse with his drinking and is almost psychotic  when he is drunk.   John knows about A.A. and perhaps he will find the courage to attend. I still love John and know I always will. Just like Billy Bikowski.

            However it is interesting to witness, as I grow older, God’s wisdom. Knowing everything, He knew that my life with John Cunningham would have been pure hell. Perhaps I’d have ended up dead.  Maybe I will have to wait until the next world to be with both John and Billy.          It would have been nice to have a man in my life in this life though

            I am on my official diet that Darrell Hunt suggested and today I can eat all the fruit I want except for bananas.  I stuck to the diet religiously.

            Anyway I walked up to the genealogy library  and did some research. Then I walked back home to get ready  for  John Reeves and I to go out to the SUN and The in-between to go dancing.

            I cleaned my place and did some laundry up also before going out with John.  I like The SUN less and less, probably due to the fact that I am 37 now and it seems so plastic with the “stand and model” and don’t talk to me crowd. . I just don’t relate at all to that place. It seems so plastic so it’s no wonder that Billy likes it so much,

At the In-Between, the patio will be opened soon with a western motif.  I am paying Bobby Dupree, the co owner of the bar, to fix the clutch pedal on my Volkswagen. He said it’s probably just a spring. I hope He’s opened the first Gay owned auto repair shop and I want to support the community. 

I heard that the AIDS Project Utah held a fund-raiser at Cinema In Your Face on Broadway where they showed four of the National AIDS Film Projects.

17 April 1988 Sunday

I spent the entire day over at John Reeve’s apartment watching Star Trek Movies one after another as in a series. Today was the second day of my diet. It’s an all vegetable day so I think I over dosed on carrot and celery sticks. However it was a fun day just to relax and enjoy being away from my place.

            We had to leave at 5:30 however to make it to Affirmation to pitch Beyond Stonewall again.

18 April 1988 Monday-

It rained really hard today so I didn’t go out any without having a car and stayed home where I worked writing up my genealogical reports.

We canceled an AIDS Quilt meeting today but Bruce Harmon forgot to tell Ben Barr so he came over with Garth Snyder. So we held a meeting anyway the three of us. We decided to have a work shop in May for people to work on their quilt panels.

There seems to be less and less enthusiasm for the Quilt Project. Everyone is so involved in other projects and organizations.

Garth Snyder gave me a ride up to the U of U where I gave a lesson at the Lesbian Gay Student Union on John Boswell’s book “Christianity, Homosexuality, and Social Tolerance.”  It was a good discussion and generated lots of controversy.

Curtis Jensen said afterwards,  he wished he knew sooner that I gave such good lessons because he would have asked me to do a workshop in Denver for  the Desert and Mountain States Conference. 

It had stopped raining so I just walked on home from the University.

19 April 1988 Tuesday-

I turned in my projects this morning and was paid today. I spent much of the day cleaning the apartment, vacuuming, doing the dishes, making the bed and cleaning the bathroom. Then I made cookies for Unconditional Support tonight. In the afternoon I did walk over to Memory Grove because it was such a beautiful day with plenty of sunshine.

            I bought a newspaper at 7 Eleven on 1^st South on the way over to read wile laying out in the sun. While there soon this cute guy came over to me and started to cruise. So he drove me back to my place where I had condoms and we had sex. He was 27 years old, with long curly hair.  I never did get to read the newspaper.

At Unconditional Support  we had a nice turn out for our “Fuckerware” Party.  It was an adult toys party with creams, lotions, vibrators, dildos etc. It was really fun and outrageous and there was a lot of blushing.  I even bought a couple of vibrators and some lotion.

20 April 1988 Wednesday

This morning, a man named Jeff called me again who I had talked to on the Unconditional Support answering machine last week. He’s married, 40 years old, and just coming out and very scared.  He wanted to come over and take me to lunch but I said I was kind of busy because I need to go to the genealogical library to do some work. But he sounded so needy so I said I could meet him at 11 this morning.

            So he came over and he was a nice man. I tried talking to him about being gay and what that means to me. The I saw that he had a raging hard on through his shorts. I said I don’t feel right about having sex with people who come to me for counseling about being Gay. I told him that right now he’s way to vulnerable and I would be violating some sort of trust if I seduced him. He said he understood but then he started making the moves on me.

            So soon we were in bed in bed with our clothes off. He was so sensuous and he enjoyed being held and fondled. What he really needed was Gay interaction so I said I didn’t feel guilty life if I had violated a form of trust because I never wanted to use my position as a Gay leader as an avenue just to get laid. He assured me that he seduced me. He said “you didn’t come on to me.”

            After he was spent we took a sensual shower together before he had to leave to back to his work. We were making love for two hours and it was a pleasurable way to spend the afternoon.

            To make up the time I spent with Jeff, I stayed at the genealogy library until 10 at night when they closed and then cause a bus home.

            I am still on my diet.

21 April 1988 Thursday

I went to the show this afternoon with Ken Francis.  We went to see Hairspray at the West Valley Mall’s dollar theaters. He had never seen it before and I enjoyed it as much as I did the second time I saw it.

            Afterwards I went to the LDS genealogy Library and worked until 9 at night.  When I came back home to the Juel Apartment, John Reeves came over to take me back to his place to spend the night as we are going down to Provo early tomorrow for his graduation from BYU.

22 April 1988 Friday

John Reeves and I were up at 6 this morning as we had to be in Provo by 8. It was raining today. The commencement was held in the Marriott Center at BYU.

            There I met John’s son Mark Reeves who came in from Boston to see his father graduate. I didn’t however want to sit with John’s family.  I thought that would be very awkward because I am sure his wife Barbara thinks we are lovers and her replacement when we are just good friends.

            While John was spending some time with his family and getting ready, while alone, I walked over to the Wilkinson Center to buy some fruit for breakfast. It felt so odd being back on BYU’s campus. I felt so estranged from the time I was a Mormon boy here and I realized I really hated being back here  with all the pain this place caused me.

            Back at the Marriott Center I suffered through the commencement for John’s sake but I was steaming over remarks the fucking hypocritical Mormon Bastards were saying how God intended the graduates to go forth and spread the Gospel in their chosen fields. It really shames me that I ever was a Mormon, especially a BYU Mormon.

            No wonder I was so screwed up during my time down here. I was such a kind gentle loving and trusting soul and they said I was a monster that should be driven from their midst.

            John finally had me met Barbara after the commencement. Upon meeting me she expressed such a shocked, painful, and hurt on her face, that I was most uncomfortable the rest of the time we were there. I was the intruder in what should have been a happy family occasion.

            Back in Salt Lake City, John’s family wanted to take him out for a celebratory lunch and he wanted me to come but I begged off saying I had to get some work down when in reality I couldn’t stand to be around his wife and kids anymore who all registered disdain for me as the source of John’s fall from Grace and abandonment of his family for a wicked and vile lifestyle.   I wasn’t going to sit through a luncheon with these people and my presence in away would be like rubbing salt in their mother’s wounded heart.

            Later in the evening John, having finished his obligatory family doings, came back to my place and we went out to eat at the Greek Shishkabob place at 551 North 300 West and then we went out to the movies at the Crossroad Mall downtown. We  went to see Beetlejuice  which was really wacky and different but I enjoyed it. We saw Beau Chaine there on a date as they sat right in front of us in the theater.

            After the show John wanted to go out dancing at the SUN but there I wasn’t having any fun because I was simply worn out. I was just plain tired from the long day and probably from dieting.  John however still wanted to keep dancing.

I saw Jeff Wood with someone else out on the dance floor and it brought back a lot of unpleasant memories of having seen Billy Bikowski dancing with others at the SUN years back. The SUN really doesn’t hold a lot of happy memories for me. It was after 12:30 before John took me home.

23 April 1988 Saturday-

I was at the LDS Genealogy Library for most of the day before coming home to get ready for the Gay and Lesbian Community Dance held at the Multipurpose Room in the Central City Community Center tonight.  James Connelley  dropped by the apartment to put some money down of Beyond Stonewall and James Conrad came over to visit for a while. He’s still having a rough time getting over Frank Fatah. We were both in love with boys when we should have saved our love for men. I’m glad I can be here for James Conrad but it brings up a painful association with Billy Bikowski since he and Frank are Dan Fahndrich’s roommates.  Let it go Let God.

            Anyway I had to run and get soft drinks for the dance and to help Chris Brown set up the recreational hall.  Members of the Youth Group brought balloons and streamers into decorate the hall and Richard Morris had some guys from KRCL volunteering to do the music. I sold soda pop and lots of cookies were bought this time. 

Probably 100 people attended so it was a successful dance to me and everyone seemed to be having fun. We took in nearly $300 and after expenses each group, U.S., LGSU, Affirmation, and MCC made $60 for each organization. 

Chris Brown and I are using our share to go as representatives to the Desert and Mountain States Conference that is being in Denver on the 14th of May which is the same day as our next dance so Dave Malmstrom will be on his own for that one.

Curtis Jensen told me that The Love Birds have broken up and tomorrow will be their last performance together. Greg Hardin and Barry Prindiville were even in fist fighting from what Curtis said.  I don’t know what the real problem is but I suspect that it’s about Greg’s drinking has a lot to d o with it.

            I heard that Al Smith’s new group the Lesbian and Gay Student Union at the Salt Lake Community College showed the “Life and Times of Harvey Milk” today.

24 April 1988 Sunday-

I weighed myself today and I was 195 pounds at the scales on Campus in the men’s locker room.

I went out and bought some clothes for the summer as it is getting warmer. I bought a pair of black shorts, a white sports shirt, a royal purple tee-shirt, and a red and white jersey shirt. Also I bought a pair of white deck shoes that I can wear without socks. I really needed some clothes as I hadn’t bought any since last year.

Mark Lamar has checked himself into the V.A. hospital because he said he’s been having some mental issues and post traumatic drama.

John Reeves told me some horrible news today, his friend and therapist Dr. Michael Elliott has AIDS. John said that Dr. Elliott had the same lover Joe Pitti for the last ten years and never had been unfaithful and his lover in HIV negative. How very sad. This disease is so scary the way it almost hits at random.

Becky Moss and I taped a radio program on the steps of “Coming Out” our for KRCL Concerning Gays and Lesbians segment.  She had given me a ride home yesterday from the dance and we talked about the show. I said I would help her do the show tonight on Coming Out. Next week I will be interview David Sharpton for the program.

            The Royal Court’s Golden Spikes Awards were held at Backstreet tonight. The Golden Spike’s Humanitarian Award was given to Sister Linda Bellemere of Holy Cross Hospital AIDS Unit.

25 April 1988 Monday-

I had such a sad melancholy dream about Billy Bikowski. I miss him so much. The dream made me sad all day.

            I stayed home for the most part writing up reports to turn in tomorrow. I did take a break to attend the Democratic Mass Meeting where I was elected a delegate to the state and county conventions as an openly Gay man.

26 April 1988 Tuesday

 I went to Unconditional Support in the evening and taught a lesson on The Biological Causation of Being Gay. We had a good turn out and Randy Olsen came for the first time in a very long time.

            I am really angry today at the Mormon Nazi mentality that thinks it has the right t be the guardian of everyone’s morality. Sometimes I wonder why the fuck I am here in Utah!

            I was paid $268 today for my work at Lineages and most of that went to paying bills. I went out looking at apartments but can’t  decide where I want to live.

27 April 1988 Wednesday

I was at the genealogy Library all day working on Briggs and Ashley Family projects. I didn’t do much else and walked both ways about 3 miles altogether.

28 April 1988 Thursday-

I spent the  day at the LDS Genealogy Library until 8 this evening when I had to be home for a Beyond Stonewall meeting at my apartment. We discussed the promotion of the event for the months of May, June, and July. We have about 20 per cent of the camp sold already. We also decided to give Emperor Donny Eastepp and Empress Donie  Marie guest tickets to Beyond Stonewall for Coronation. Unconditional Support has bought 16 seats at Coronation this year.

I heard from Ben Barr that Dr. Patti Reagan spoke on the topic of Lesbian Sexuality at the Cache Valley Alliance in Logan. Shocking ha!

29 April 1988-Friday-

Mark Lamar is home from the V.A. Hospital and said he’s going home to Indiana for the summer. This afternoon I lay out in the sun in Memory Grove with Ken Francis and I really got sun burned. Ouch! 

I was at the library tonight until 10. After coming back home I then went over to the In-Between just to get out of the apartment. There I saw John Reeves, Mike Pipkin, and Ralph Goff out on the patio.

Ralph is on the outs with Satu Servigna over the management of the Triangle. He said he hopes that the Triangle fails. I hope it doesn’t.  The Triangle was out at the bars already and I saw people taking my sex survey I had written for the humor column.

30 April 1988-Saturday-

After working at the LDS Genealogy Library because it’s Ken Francis’ 27^th birthday,  several of us went out to celebrate at the SUN. A new guy named Jeff came along with Mark Lamar. John Reeves, Ken and me.

The SUN was weird so we left and went to the In-Between and had so much more fun. I danced and had a beer and meet a kid named Scott McKinney who everyone was after. It was really a fun evening.

After the bar closed we went to the new restaurant “Our Place” to have a late night snack.  It just didn’t feel very homey to me and I was insulted by this diesel dike who I guess didn’t want men there. I thought this is no fun.  I really did not enjoy myself and probably won’t go back.